How-to Clean a Crab
 
1. Grab the crab by its ass end, thumb on top, fingers on the bottom - watch out for the claw
2. Carefully, so that you don't get pinched, with one hand take all the legs and the claw from one side of the crab and with your other hand grab the top half of the shell and pull back until the top pops off.
3. Unless you want a fancy presentation, discard the top half of the shell.
4.With a pair of tongs, scrape out all the yellow and black stuff (intestines and guts).
5. Rinse under cold water to get the last of the icky stuff
6. With the tongs, remove the gills, located along both sides above the legs and claws
7. On the back end of the crab, you'll find a little chunk of cartilage that looks out of place - this is the housing for the sex organs.  Grabbing it from the centre-top, pull it out. 
8. If you're not going for presentation, cut the crab in half length wise. If you're planning on returning the top part of shell for presentatio, clean the top shell and boil it along with the rest of the crab.
10. Add raw crab to a large pot of salted boiling water and cook for exactly 7 min, then drain and serve as you like.
 

note: Many crab recipes ask for the crab to be cooked in a flavoured liquid or stock. Patty thinks this is an affectation since it spends so little time in the water that it's unlikely absorb much flavour.

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